I miss the days Larry would run to me for comfort. No matter the injury, a hug and kiss fixed it. Not anymore, not when I am the enemy. Last night I found myself asking her “how do I fix it if I don’t know what is wrong?” How do I make this child happy, at least happy enough to not self-destruct?
The truth is being a teen girl is chronic...for at least 7 more years. Sugar, spice and everything nice it is not, but there must be a way through this without permanent damage, right? There was a time that she believed anything I said. There is the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Strangers are danger and Mom has eyes in the back of her head. Ha! Not anymore. No matter what I do she can’t bring herself to trust me. I can’t possibly know what I am talking about because I am old, huh? I was never cool (Ok she might have me there actually), I made straight A’s (She REALLY doesn’t know me) and I was perfect. I don’t know what it is like to think I am fat or not good enough. I can’t imagine what she goes through every day. I have no good advice because I have no idea what she is going through. How tragic that I can't keep her from making the same mistakes I did. Even more tragic that my kiss doesn't stop her tears anymore.
It appears (most days) that Larry has been abducted by a cruel alien. It is painful to look into her beautiful eyes and not recognize who or what is looking back at me. It is hard to reason with this person, but it is even harder as Mom to not try to reason. Maybe I should stop here and explain the purpose of this blog isn’t to be a downer. Supposedly one day we will look back at this and laugh, I am just setting us up for that day. Or who knows maybe one day in the VERY distant future (*crossing fingers) Larry will have a daughter that can read this and know that her mom has been there.
If I could convince her of one thing it would be that I love her regardless of how much we disagree. I love her when she tells me I don’t care about her and I love her when I have to punish her.
I don’t know it all. And sometimes I feel like I don’t know enough. I am persistent and right now it feels like that’s all I’ve got. 
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